Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts
Monday, October 14
Friday, August 30
Monday, August 26
Monday, August 19
Friday, August 16
How to make people think your crazy!
The title explains the whole thing of what this writing, article, whatever you want to call it is about so lets not be repetitive and get straight into things shall we!? But wait you ask "Why would you want people to think your crazy?What possible gain can I get from learning how to pretend to be crazy?", great questions which I have great answers for, being:
It can be very funny to confuse/slightly scare relatives.
It helps detour that one guy or gal who just will not stop hitting on your sexy face.
It can get you attention.
People will think you are more fun and happy-go-lucky than others.
It can detour people who are looking to be mean or punch-in your face.
Stress will just drain from you with every outburst of the crazy.
Ba Boom lots of reasons it is good to know how to act crazy! Now I'll explain what type of crazy I mean when I say crazy, cause my idea of crazy and your idea of crazy are probably to different things if you hear what im sayin and i know you can at least read what i'm sayin, you know what i'm sayin? Cause now I don't know what i'm saying, seriously I forgot already..................................................oh yea we were talking about crazy. So yea, your crazy is probably straight jackets, funny farms, child celebrities that have grown up, etc. My crazy is random outburst, loud noises, random dancing in public, and getting over excited about really random things. See the diff? Nutso Crazy vs. Quirky Awesome Crazy! Now that that is explained lets go into depth of how to be Quirky Awesome Crazy, I'll write it out in the next little section which I can't call a paragraph or list because its like both the previous mixed together.
ok so how you become Quirky Awesome Crazy is you
must randomly every now and again vocalize your internal thoughts about random things. Be smart though don't voice those opinions about your bosses tupe or how much you hate your life, those stay inside voices for only you to hear so you stay out of trouble.Saying or singing the things you are doing actually makes them easier to sit down and do in one sitting especially if it is your taxes or a boring finance report for your faux haired crank of a boss (if you have one of those...).
must find ways to make grocery shopping a roller coaster, I recommend using the cart as a scooter but only when its full and weights more than you do otherwise it will wack you in the forehead and leave a nice bright red line on your head, learned from experience...painful experience, this will not only make your shopping faster it is alot more fun as well.
Turning on the radio to one of those elaborate opera channels in the car and dramatically lipsinging is a great way to relieve stress and learn a new language, but unless you do this a whole lot (because of the stares it can get awkward) so the education and culture are wasted on you but try it anyways cause it is a good face stretch after a poker game you just lost.
If you have kids and you just paid for the mall kiddie ride carousel thing and your not super heavy, hop on and steal one ride around. It will make your little one smile and make you the envy of the parents on the playground. If you don't have kids, don't do this or you'll be mistaken for a pedophile and no one will ever come near you again(this is a serious warning I am not responsible if you get arrested).
Hopping, skipping, or jumping from place to place is great exercise and puts a cheerful bounce in your step until you get tired but then it makes sitting at your desk feel like a tiny tropical escape.
Well that is it how to make people think your a good kind of crazy! hope you enjoyed reading and come back next week same time same place. peace out-InrisusIngenuity
(DISCLAIMER : Results of actually doing some of or all the listed above things will vary, be smart don't go overboard and stay safe, I am not responsible if you go overboard and get sent away or injured, please be quirky awesome cray cray in moderation and if you aren't I am not to blame for your lack of ability to know your limit and read the limits of those around you.)
It can be very funny to confuse/slightly scare relatives.
It helps detour that one guy or gal who just will not stop hitting on your sexy face.
It can get you attention.
People will think you are more fun and happy-go-lucky than others.
It can detour people who are looking to be mean or punch-in your face.
Stress will just drain from you with every outburst of the crazy.
Ba Boom lots of reasons it is good to know how to act crazy! Now I'll explain what type of crazy I mean when I say crazy, cause my idea of crazy and your idea of crazy are probably to different things if you hear what im sayin and i know you can at least read what i'm sayin, you know what i'm sayin? Cause now I don't know what i'm saying, seriously I forgot already..................................................oh yea we were talking about crazy. So yea, your crazy is probably straight jackets, funny farms, child celebrities that have grown up, etc. My crazy is random outburst, loud noises, random dancing in public, and getting over excited about really random things. See the diff? Nutso Crazy vs. Quirky Awesome Crazy! Now that that is explained lets go into depth of how to be Quirky Awesome Crazy, I'll write it out in the next little section which I can't call a paragraph or list because its like both the previous mixed together.
ok so how you become Quirky Awesome Crazy is you
must randomly every now and again vocalize your internal thoughts about random things. Be smart though don't voice those opinions about your bosses tupe or how much you hate your life, those stay inside voices for only you to hear so you stay out of trouble.Saying or singing the things you are doing actually makes them easier to sit down and do in one sitting especially if it is your taxes or a boring finance report for your faux haired crank of a boss (if you have one of those...).
must find ways to make grocery shopping a roller coaster, I recommend using the cart as a scooter but only when its full and weights more than you do otherwise it will wack you in the forehead and leave a nice bright red line on your head, learned from experience...painful experience, this will not only make your shopping faster it is alot more fun as well.
Turning on the radio to one of those elaborate opera channels in the car and dramatically lipsinging is a great way to relieve stress and learn a new language, but unless you do this a whole lot (because of the stares it can get awkward) so the education and culture are wasted on you but try it anyways cause it is a good face stretch after a poker game you just lost.
If you have kids and you just paid for the mall kiddie ride carousel thing and your not super heavy, hop on and steal one ride around. It will make your little one smile and make you the envy of the parents on the playground. If you don't have kids, don't do this or you'll be mistaken for a pedophile and no one will ever come near you again(this is a serious warning I am not responsible if you get arrested).
Hopping, skipping, or jumping from place to place is great exercise and puts a cheerful bounce in your step until you get tired but then it makes sitting at your desk feel like a tiny tropical escape.
Well that is it how to make people think your a good kind of crazy! hope you enjoyed reading and come back next week same time same place. peace out-InrisusIngenuity
(DISCLAIMER : Results of actually doing some of or all the listed above things will vary, be smart don't go overboard and stay safe, I am not responsible if you go overboard and get sent away or injured, please be quirky awesome cray cray in moderation and if you aren't I am not to blame for your lack of ability to know your limit and read the limits of those around you.)
Friday, August 9
Rainy days suck so lets get through this and be immature!
Hello again internet being who exist someplace in the world that I have no idea where! How has your summer been, is the weather acting strange and dragging your Summer party train down too? Great, so that makes two of us!(or maybe not you lucky luck luck man, lady ,human, zombie, mythical beast or alien...I think that covers everyone here plus some, idk I can't see your beautiful/interesting face to know for sure!) Well anyways as I was saying, everytime I set foot outside that it starts to pour down rain so hard that I can't even see my car parked 2 meters in front of me. Boy, mother nature has some kinda humor. But due to insane boredom and way to much time on my hands I have been revisting childhood memories and nutureing my already highly immature adult persona to have more fun than ever indoors. And since I'm so bored I decided I'd share with you my top ten fun indoor pass times....
!) Play the floor is Lava
@) Pretend you are Spiderman webbing from building to building(wall to wall obviously don't jump off buildings or staircases or other stuff that could kill you, you daredevil/ not quite there person if you didn't realize walls was implied! and this said if you do I already warned you not to so I am not responsible for your poor life choice!)
#) Personalize your furniture with stickers and decals
$)Play ninja with friends
%)Take a bubblebath with toys and a bubble crown (not if there is thunder, thats dangerous...)
ˆ)Turn on Opera Radio and lipsing dramatically
&)Eat junk food while watching old movies
*)Youtube cat videos
()Pretend you are an animal and run around your house doing so
!)) Create your own language and speak in it for a whole day to confuse your friends
Well that's it for this sorry no picture today, I didn't make any or find any good enough to share this time. Thanks for reading this far if your did cause that is awesome. Hope one of these ideas will help brighten up your next rainy day. Peace out- Inrisus Ingenuity
!) Play the floor is Lava
@) Pretend you are Spiderman webbing from building to building(wall to wall obviously don't jump off buildings or staircases or other stuff that could kill you, you daredevil/ not quite there person if you didn't realize walls was implied! and this said if you do I already warned you not to so I am not responsible for your poor life choice!)
#) Personalize your furniture with stickers and decals
$)Play ninja with friends
%)Take a bubblebath with toys and a bubble crown (not if there is thunder, thats dangerous...)
ˆ)Turn on Opera Radio and lipsing dramatically
&)Eat junk food while watching old movies
*)Youtube cat videos
()Pretend you are an animal and run around your house doing so
!)) Create your own language and speak in it for a whole day to confuse your friends
Well that's it for this sorry no picture today, I didn't make any or find any good enough to share this time. Thanks for reading this far if your did cause that is awesome. Hope one of these ideas will help brighten up your next rainy day. Peace out- Inrisus Ingenuity
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